The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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