Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
