i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
