You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
