Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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