My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
