I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
