i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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