worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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