I looked at my own cervix.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
