My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
And then my night got REAL pukey
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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