You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
