If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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