i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
