So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
