hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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