He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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