this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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