tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
