They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just got carded by a ten year old.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
