Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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