Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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