He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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