You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
