I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
