these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
