look no pants
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
