hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Ketchup is God's man juice
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just high enough for therapy.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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