I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
