Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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