We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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