i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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