I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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