I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
