I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
