Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
