Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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