So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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