lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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