Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
