And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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