We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
