everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
