your parents love me but you hate me
Dual....:-)
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I smell like Dick and happiness
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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