Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
