Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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