If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
