Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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