he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
