She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
